What draws us to the Congos of the world?
The other day, I sat down to begin work on my second book. I’ve known for ages I want to include a couple of conversations I had with a guy I met on the terrace at the Orchid Safari Club on my most recent trip. (No, this is not a love story, so let’s get that out of the way up front).
A few basics: A 40- something guy who has worked in development and African war zones (Somalia, Darfur, Congo, etc) for more than 20 years, we started talking about rice cakes and almost instantly found ourselves in a raging debate about writing on Congo, development, neo-colonialism, and listening to Congolese people. Then he mentioned he almost drowned in Lake Kivu the day before. He moved back to the US 2 years ago to try to create a life, though he “has no friends” in his new town.
Yes, he’s a difficult man, but I liked him nonetheless, and through the lens of the upcoming book, shamelessly found him fascinating. We got together after one of my readings on my book tour and talked more.
I finally wrote him to fess up that I want to include him in my book. The following is our exchange:
Hey there. Happy 4th!
Sat down to start work on my second book this morning. Would you mind if I include a couple of our conversations? I always ask.
Was serious when I said some of our conversations stayed on my mind.
Lisa
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Hi. Glad to hear you are busy again. Can I ask which conversations you’re referring to? Thanks
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Hmmm. I could say orchid and after the reading….but I’m not sure that’s adequate.
Tricky to explain in lightweight terms. Most of the story will be focused on the LRA, my friend francisca and her family. But my narrative arc will deal with the opposite arc of the first book- stripping back the “one person makes a difference” story. Questions like- what drives people to places like Congo? To help others or help ourselves? Running towards something or running away? Is “amazing” work a cover for personal failures? Does spending time in places like Congo make you more alienated, or does that sense draw you there in the first place? And ultimately- like every story in this genre- can one rejoin the living? How do you carve out a life, especially when everything feels so painfully low stakes when you return? All issues I’ll address throughout the book. We touched on them briefly, in a way I found unintentionally poetic, the first time we talked at orchid- your near drowning, your return to the US after 20 yrs, since becoming a permanent ex pat is “its own kind of graveyard”. And the conversation after my reading.
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Thanks. I would only add that I believe in a cosmic principle acc to which however much you lose or become unmoored from your original community, you gain one some where else. So if I said those things about expat life I didn’t mean to diminish all that my time in congo, and congolese, have contributed to the quality of my existence on this earth.
Anyway it’s an ongoing discussion as these issues have no pat answers and are deeply personal, often to the point of useless western navelgazing. I’m sure you’ll steer clear of that.
I just edited a friend’s book with a similar theme. Do we need another story of a lost westerner ‘finding themselves’ in the suffering of the less fortunate? It happens, sure, but the optics of such tales are very suspect, and support the notion held by many that we are only interested in the congoes of the world for selfish reasons. I’ll be in kinshasa from X to X if you’re through there.
Take care
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Ah! No secret- pretty much from the moment we met- that your world view is inherently skeptical of my work, the way I would tell my story, and the methods I use. I still find you fantastic.
Was your 20 years in the Congoes of the world driven by selfish reasons? Is that inherently flawed, or is all human action driven in some way by selfish reason- the way every protagonist- and even antagonists- push towards something they believe to be positive? I wonder if we care, try to connect and do something good, but it is also selfish- that all of it is true. Does it diminish the act of showing up? Maybe. But if we spend all of our energy trying to get to a perfect soul place about it, does it lead to paralysis and prevent people from engaging with and for other human beings? Which is the lesser of the evils?
In the end, real art explores the complexity of an issue without providing answers. But every story is about people learning about themselves- for better or worse- against any backdrop.
Some theorize we are either critics or creators- hard to be both. And in the end, my best guess is that its easier- or at least safer- to be a critic. The creative process isn’t driven by left brain, pc questions about what stories the world needs, but rather a raw, honest exploration of human experience. I don’t find that useless. Especially if one is painfully aware of one’s own bullshit in the process. I’m not sure how it all pans out in the big picture, but I know I’m happier when I’m less skeptical and emotionally paralyzed- even if it does come at the price of being flawed or exposed.
For sure it is deeply personal.
No plans for Kinshasa, but hope you have a wonderful time!
Lisa
I like what you said: “But if we spend all of our energy trying to get to a perfect soul place about it, does it lead to paralysis and prevent people from engaging with and for other human beings?”
I believe that it should–and does–bring us personal joy to alleviate suffering and bring good things into the lives of others.
Lisa, thank you so much for all of this. It really resonates — I co-run a small project in Kasese, Uganda, for orphaned and vulnerable children, most of whom are there because of conflict in congo and rwanda. I read an article about you a little bit ago, and was just reminded of it with a piece in Salon today about sexual violence in congo. You’re doing such good work… I’d love to connect, just a little bit — partly because I think it would be really amazing if some of the women you work with could maybe talk to some of our older girls sometime.
(I’m in Toronto, for the record, and our project is volunteer too — we had a successful fundraiser this weekend — see http://www.triforafrica.org — and the more I feel the web tighten the stronger I feel about the work).
Take good care, Cate
Thank you so much for this particular entry… I leave for Africa in a couple weeks and I’ve been struggling so much with the guilt (or pre-guilt) of knowing that no matter how much I do for people over there, I will gain more. And that it’s such a western luxury to be able to go and do work for people in another country. I’m coming from a place of privilege, which is obvious, but even privilege by western standards because of the mere fact I’m taking this journey, that I’ve had the education and upbringing that allows for me to be aware of such a need and be able to reach out. I consider myself so lucky and eternally grateful (and well, I haven’t even gotten to Africa yet.)
The questions you are going to raise in this book are EXACTLY the ones I want to be able to answer for myself as I move into my new future, my new life. Even saying those words, “new life,” make me feel selfish and undeserving.
Lisa I’m so happy I’ve learned of your work and book – hopefully I can get a copy and take it with me.
Lisa, today I feel so connected to Congo as I have the picture of my Congo sister that I received on Saturday , July 9th . Her name is Imani Furaha which in Swahili means ” Faith and Joy” . My faith and joy in GOD has definitely been answered by this beautiful woman in my life.
I feel so grateful to have met you for you have answered my prayers through Imani.
Imani is a widow of 3 children.Her courage to live and carry on despite all the odds has shown me my strength too. It may be the selfish way of achieving it but sure is going to last for a very very long time.
Love and Hugs to Imani and Mother Ann and you,
Richa
@Ann, definitely easier and safer to be a critic. @ Lisa. What draws people like us to places like Congo? The most important part of ” A Thousand Sister’s” message to me was, and is, we are here to help. We will not come and change your lives to live like we American’s do. We will not swoop you up and bring you to America. With our help, you will change your lives and rebuild your country. I was in the Soviet Union in 1989. Mikhail Gorbachev was Prime Minister. Perestroika. The churches were just opened up to the Russian people. I attended many masses. Priests were allowed to come out mingle and walk with the people, along with the military with machine guns and many forms of artiliary. Mr Gorbachev, whom I love dearly, was trying to bring democracy to the Soviet Union. After my three week tour of talking with people in the Soviet Union, I realized democracy was not an option for them. Three or more generations had be governed by Communistic rule. The people had no idea what their lives would be without the government. They still don’t. The break up was altimate chaos, as it still presides today. What, you, Lisa Shannon and other charities are doing for Congolese women is giving them confidence,a future, a challenge to change and heal, and a voice. Opra opened the door. You took the ball running. Not all Congolese women will empraise the challenge. Selfish, I think not. We were born in the United States. Not our choice. We just got lucky in the grand scheme of things. We were brought up knowing we could be anyone we wanted to be with any standard of living we could achieve. We were free to reach as high as we were willing to educate ourselves and work for. I want that for every person on this earth to have the same advantage. I don’t want to bring my sister to the United States. I want her to better herself and her own country. I want her to have the same opportunities as I do, no matter the color, gender, or race. What I think: We reach out to others when we are the most confident with ourselves. We are no different. We have the guts to step outside our comfort zones as do the the Women of the Congo. We know there are many causes, and we embrase them and contibute to them. My son is a retired rodeo bull rider. A song sticks out in my head with the lirics, “Every now and then, every once in a while someone comes along. That one in a million heart so pure and so strong. They can face up to the truth and somehow still find a smile. We only find them every once in a while. That one in a million eyes that never tell a lie. That’s why we call them hero’s and that’s why we only find them every once in a while.” You and many others here in the United States found them. Introduced the Congo women to the world. We have to find them before we can make the pledge to help them. Susan G. Kolmen had to loose her life to breast cancer before any of us could or would support the cause for cure. And many, many other causes. We are all individuals with individual personalities. We will all be drawn to diffrent charities and causes. As American’s we are fortunate to find the one cause that fits our individual personality. We have the voice of independence and free speech. We have the resoruces both political and monetarily to help. I’ve seen that person who will put thier last dollar in the Salvation Army’s red pot at Christmas time. It was me. I’m looking forward to your next book.
Thank You,
Katherine
Lisa,
I’ve asked myself these questions, as the DRC has occupied me for a while now. (I’ve written 37 times on it at my web site.) Anyway, I wonder why the western white woman feels a sisterhood with women on another continent who are in extremis? Do I merely want to rescue them, and in so doing, feel better about myself? or is there, as I hope, this genuine part of myself who can’t stand suffering and so writes, and volunteers at food banks, and educates as much as she can about the DRC, but who does it because she’s a teacher and it’s who I am.
There’s been suffering in my life? (Jesus. In whose life has there not been?) And suffering has caused my heart to open, rather to close. I simply keep doing these things so that my heart can encompass as much as it can.
If that makes me selfish, if that makes me one more westerner who thinks she can rescue people, well, so be it.
But I admire the hell out of you. For what that’s worth.
Lorraine
Lisa, we are all looking for some lasting form of happiness.What better to seek that even if it may be selfish for us , but beneficial to the ones we help. In the end , both of us are happy.
For me personally, what draws me to the Congos of the world, is the strength of the women who have the will to live after all the atrocities in their lives. I definitely would like to visit my sister in Congo one day and give her a hug and talk to her in person. I hope GOD will help me in my purpose .
So looking forward to your next book.Best of Luck! Love you so much .
Love and hugs,
Richa
Definitely, it’s safer to be a critic. And ten times easier. :)